Saturday, April 9, 2011

Common Writing Errors - Sentence Variation

Today's tip is for all of us who write descriptions of our products on Etsy or Artfire. Most of us already know that writing a good engaging description is a key to good online salesmanship. It is very easy to be factual and straightforward in describing our items, such as starting our sentences with the same word or word structure, repeatedly. Try not to use the same successive sentence structure over and over, i.e. there is, there are, it is, this, the, we, I. Especially for myself, I tend to overuse these phrases, since I am trying to present my item with as many facts as possible. I want my item to be truthfully presented. But, occasionally changing the usual word order of subject + verb + complement will avoid monotony and will attract attention.

Sample:
Those who can sleep through a strong rain storm are fortunate.
Better:
Fortunate are those who can sleep through a strong rain storm.

Sample:
It is a lovely shade of lavender.
Better:
Lavender is the loveliest shade in this print.


Print fabric available from PruittSupply on Etsy.

Tip:
Sentences should usually be built with the most important idea at the beginning or end; or in places where the reader's attention is most at its peak. Where do you want to grab your potential customer's attention?

Now to go look at my own descriptions and do some re-writes!

3 comments:

Sunshineshelle said...

Nice examples... I like how much better a simple rewrite becomes :)

Marlene said...

Thank you Linda, this was a really good tip. I need to do some rewrites myself. I have discovered I'd rather paint and let other's do the writing, but I do need to describe my items.

Re said...

Samples are the best way to learn. Suggestions regarding a better way to draw a immediately in to the story.

Thank you again...

P.S. I am confused, the starting line I have for this upcoming week is no longer there, did you change them or am I forever lost? :o)