Thoughts Delivered

(Abby's story part 18) Since the morning sun was no longer streaming in the front window, it was a little cooler to sit at the dining room table as they talked. "Suz, you saw my pros and cons list. But I want you to know that I, also have looked at all the things that have happened in my life over the last several years as to how they relate to important decisions. I think it has helped me see more clearly." "You sound like you have really been thinking about this, mom" said Suz as she tilted the lovely porcelain clad kettle that was always ready on the stove and filled her china tea cup with hot water. "So, what do you mean?" she asked, while dipping her tea bag up and down in the water and taking her chair at the oak table.

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"Well, I mean that I have thought about your dad's death and where that has left me--both emotionally and financially. I thought about my heart attack and fitness level--or lack thereof! I though about the purpose of this family farm--emphasis on 'family'--that we are all in this together for a favorable and profitable outcome. I thought about adoption as a long term commitment and my age. And I think that I have decided that adopting Patrica is not for me, as much as I want it. I was thinking that I wanted her to have a stable home, and she got along so well with Paddy and Owen. I could see her here in this house, filling it with laughter and chaos. My heart is full of love for her and, I know, all the other children who need love. But I think that my stamina is not the greatest and my years on this earth may be more limited that I would really like to admit. So, I have come to this conclusion: I have decided that adopting Patrica is not for me, as much as I want . . . " "Oh mom," Suzanne interrupted, "I know that this was hard for you, but I really do think it is for the best. Little Patty will go to a good home, I know it! You needn't worry." "Suz, you didn't let me finish! I am no longer worrying. I want you and Terry to adopt her!"